


The Things That Tear Us Apart

by ChickenLoMein



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Cancer Arc, F/F, Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28275735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenLoMein/pseuds/ChickenLoMein
Summary: Waverly and Nicole have been together for a few years now. After they are faced with the harsh reality of a deadly disease they realize things about themselves and their relationship.Non-supernatural AU with graphic depictions of cancer treatments and side effects of brain tumors. Read this manifestation of my depression at your own peril. There are no character deaths and the ending will be happy, I promise.
Relationships: Rosita Bustillos/Waverly Earp, Wynonna Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 8
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! Thanks for checking out this fic. I'm keeping the chapters relatively short I think, so I can update more often. Feel free to yell at me for this.
> 
> Find me on twitter @fleetwoodmak or comment below

The Ghost River Triangle had three major towns lying far apart from each other at its points. Inside it, however, in the small northern town of Purgatory, was another triangle. Three women strung together by what could only be called fate. Just like the map in the Black Badge office had red yarn looped around pushpins to show the invisible border of the county, so did they.

  


This is why it was tremendously heartbreaking and earth shattering for Wynonna and Nicole when their angel, their Waverly, was diagnosed with the same cancer that took away the Earp sister's mother many years before.

  


  


  


* * *

  


  


  


  


"Would you like us to clear the room, Ms. Earp?"

  


"I want them here," Waverly said gently, her smile not quite spreading to the crinkles in her eyes. She had been in so much pain. Wynonna and Nicole weren't sure how she even managed to stay awake with all the morphine.

  


They each sat on either side of the hospital bed, Waverly's hands in their own. Waiting, and hoping, for a chance that their angel could stay on earth longer. There was no other option for them. The alternative was something their brains could not even process. Something they did not want to imagine.

  


"Alright," said Dr. Contreras. "Your scans came in showing a malignant tumor located primarily in the cerebellum of your brain. It seems to be growing fast, but this is not a death sentence. There are multiple treatments we can try and if we start as soon as possible there is still a 40% survival rate. You are young and I'm very optimistic about our chances here."

  


The room was silent. Waverly could barely process the words that came out of the doctor's mouth, even though she already knew what he was going to say. Wynonna looked devastated in the stoic way she always did when something crushed her already broken heart. And Nicole, always the strong one, always so good at putting on her badge and brave face, was barely hiding back tears as she squeezed Waverly's hand tighter.

  


"What are the options," Wynonna asked, sounding desperate though she tried so terribly hard to hide it.

  


"I'd like to start with chemotherapy. See if we can get the spread under control. After a few rounds, if the tumor growth in Waverly's cerebellum has ceased or even reduced we can try radiation or removal."

  


Dr. Contreras was very good at sounding cool, collected, and comforting. Waverly almost believed there was a chance she could get better. Despite that, she remembered her mother. She remembered her lying in the hospital for months. She remembered the agonizing pain she hid so well except when she would pass out from sheer exhaustion and cry in her sleep. Most of all, she remembered how Wynonna never left the hospital. Only thirteen years old and she managed to be there for their dying mother every second until the end. Then for Waverly every day since. The youngest Earp did not want her sister to go through that again, but who was she to take that decision away from her? Who was she to just give up when there might be hope? And Nicole, oh god, her beautiful, strong, lovely, Nicole... How could she leave her, but again, how could she make her suffer the pain of dragging out what could very well be a lost cause?

  


"Three treatments?" Wynonna finally broke the silence. Nicole's hand tightened more, her teeth grinding together. Wynonna's voice did not sound sad or angry this time. It was drenched in melancholy acceptance, finally understanding the gravity of the diagnosis. She had not paid much attention to all the medical mumbo jumbo when it was her mother who lay where Waverly now did. Her eyes and ears were always on her. She watched her breathe, the way she gently moved in sleep or wretched in pain, so she could hit the morphine button for her or call a nurse. However, Wynonna was older now. She understood that even though the doctor said he was optimistic they were probably already filling out a toe tag in the sub-basement of the hospital.

  


"I want to try it," Waverly finally responded. "As soon as possible so I can get my life back." She smiled at the two greatest loves she had known. In spite of the situation they smiled back. It was all you could do when Waverly Earp looked at you like that.

  


  


  


  


* * *

  


  


  


  


"Was Nedley able to give you some time off," Wynonna asked the redhead in the dimly lit kitchen of the apartment her and Waverly had moved into the year before.

  


"Kind of," Nicole replied. "I'm on call if they need me. We're really short staffed these days, but everyone is willing to put in some extra hours for a while. You know they all love Waverly down there."

  


"So do you, Nicole."

  


They finally looked each other in the eyes for the first time since they left the hospital. For a moment pain got lost in more pain and they felt truly exposed to each other. Their insides cut out of them, and mixed in a horrid pile of guts on the kitchen floor. Just a moment.

  


Nicole shook her head. "Don't get soft on me, Earp. We don't need Waverly waking up cause you're out here blubbering like a baby."

  


The return of their usual snarky banter got a chuckle out of Wynonna and a slap to the arm on Nicole. "Shut up, Haught pants. If anyone cries like a baby here it's you. Don't think I've forgotten you sobbing when Waverly made us watch The Notebook."

  


Nicole glanced back from her rummaging through the fridge looking quite offended. "I did not cry! I shed one tear Wynonna! One!"

  


The brunette just laughed. "Hand me a beer already, would you?"

  


"I got you, Earp." Nicole set two IPAs on the counter and opened the drawer to find a bottle opener. After popping the tops she handed one to Wynonna.

  


A comfortable, but bleak silence fell between them. They finished the beers quickly. As Wynonna started to grab her keys Nicole placed a hand over hers. "Why don't you stay in the guest room tonight? Doc has Alice this week, yeah?"

  


"Only if you're making breakfast tomorrow," Wynonna teased to lighten the air.

  


"Whatever you say, Wynonna." Nicole shook her head and chuckled. "See you in the morning."

  


  


  


  


* * *

  


  


  


  


Waverly woke just enough when Nicole came to bed to nuzzle into her side and whisper, "I love you." Quickly falling back asleep safe in her girlfriend's arms.

  


Nicole wished it could always be like this. She wanted to keep Waverly safe and warm forever; have her best friend down the hall where she could keep her safe too.

  


The redhead always thought she wanted to be a cop because she felt an innate need to protect people. It seemed like that was her purpose in life when she signed up for the police academy. Then she met the Earp sisters and she realized how wrong she had been. Her purpose was to protect them. It only felt generalized before because she hadn't met them yet. Now though, Nicole would do anything for Waverly and Wynonna; anything for her family.

  


She squeezed the sleeping girl in her arms just a little closer to her heart. Nicole knew she could never let her go.

  


  


  


  


* * *

  


  


  


  


Waverly woke up at around 3:00am with a pounding headache. They had started a few months ago, going from once a week to what now seemed almost constant. She was thankful the doctor let her go home for a night before inevitably being stuck in the hospital for the entirety of her treatment. She was, however, not too happy about losing access to the morphine drip they had her on.

  


She slowly moved her legs from beneath the covers and found the slippers Nicole put next to her side of the bed. It always made her smile. Even after all this time Nicole remembered the little things, like how much waverly hated walking on cold wood floors when she first got out of bed. Not only did she remember, but she cared enough to check that the slippers were in their spot every night before she got in bed next to Waverly. Sometimes she pretended to be asleep just to see if Nicole would check without her watching. She always did.

  


Waverly could not cast her eyes on anything in the apartment without a reminder of how lucky she was. As she stood from the bed her hand reached for her robe on the hook Nicole had installed next to their bed. After wrapping herself up she headed to the bathroom and let the water heat up before stepping underneath the shower stream.

  


Hopeful was a word commonly associated with the youngest Earp. Positive, bubbly, and hopeful. On the surface she hoped that some hot water and an edible would alleviate the pressure in her skull just enough that she could go back to sleep. Somewhere deeper, however, she hoped that she would be strong enough to get through this. If not, she hoped that Nicole and Wynonna would be strong for each other in her absence.

  


She stood there until the water stopped turning to steam against her skin. Until the only thing she felt was exhausted.


	2. Chapter 2

Wynonna had not been able to sleep since Waverly's diagnosis. She laid in the guest room at night, eyes on the ceiling. She would walk to the kitchen and select one of the various whiskey bottles Waverly and Nicole kept atop the fridge, no guilt since they were mostly there for her anyways. Occasionally she would sit on the windowsill with her head out, leg dangling above the fire escape, and go through a quarter pack of lucky strikes despite not having smoked since high school.

She knew time had slipped into the next day when the window’s glow transitioned from the distant yellow of street lights to a dull amethyst. Soon after she would smell coffee and whatever Nicole decided to quickly fry up for them that morning. Wynonna was so incredibly grateful to have Nicole around during this. She was so exhausted she would occasionally even forget why she was in the apartment. Sometimes, when she was under the seething water of the shower while Nicole made breakfast her brain would slip into the memory of the times she’d gotten too drunk at game nights and would stay at her sister’s insistence. Waverly and Nicole were laughing in the kitchen, making them all breakfast, and waiting for Wynonna to join them, she thought. Then she would get out and the cold air against her skin would throw her back into reality.

  


Nicole had turned the heat down with Waverly gone. She was hot without Waverly’s cold hands against her chest at night. For some reason, after weeks, it filled Wynonna with white hot rage. How could Nicole turn the heat off as if Waverly wouldn’t be home any time? Had she given up already?

  


Wynonna stormed the kitchen with every intent to start a fight. What she wasn’t expecting was to enter the small kitchen to find two plates and mugs still steaming on the table, but Nicole being nowhere in the room. The brunette pivoted on her feet, partially because she was unprepared for the abrupt stop during her indignant entrance. More so, however, to look for the woman she had become so used to seeing every morning when she emerged from her room.

  


Nicole was in a heap on the couch. A complete mess from the look of it. Three bottles of beer lay empty at her feet and tears were silently streaming down her face.

  


“Did something happen,” Wynonna asked hurriedly.

  


Nicole stayed quiet for a moment, as if summoning courage to speak. In those few seconds, Wynonna worried that she was trying to find the last words Wynonna would ever want to hear.

  


“They’ve extended Waverly’s quarantine time because the chemo weakens her immune system and she’s come down with an upper respiratory infection. We won’t be able to see her today, or take Alice to see her tomorrow. Not for a couple weeks at the very least.”

  


Wynonna couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief, having expected the worst. It seemed to be a mistake though, as Nicole started to freak out. The redhead stood abruptly. Bottles clinked together and scattered around her feet.

  


“How are you relieved by this? It shouldn’t make you smile to hear that we have to wait even longer to see her! I know you’re fucked up but I didn’t think you were that fucked up, Wynonna.”

  


Wynonna clenched her jaw, bit her lip, and looked at Nicole with a ferocity she had never seen before. Blood stained the center of her bottom lip as she began to speak. “Don’t you fucking dare ever imply that I don’t love my sister. That I don’t want to see her. That I don’t want her to get better.” She stepped closer to Nicole, almost close enough to leave blood against her lips. “I’m relieved because I thought you were going to tell me she was dead. I’m relieved that her doctors are taking such good care of her they wont let us see her yet.”

  


Wynonna let a tear slip down her cheek as her wild eyes looked into Nicole’s. They both took several deep breaths to process the exchange. It had been a long time since they’d really fought. However brief, it felt so unbelievably heavy.

  


Nicole looked down at her friend's blood covered lips and then wrapped her arms around the other woman. “I’m sorry.”

  


Wynonna relaxed at that. She wrapped her arms around Nicole’s waist and nuzzled her head into her shoulder. “I wish this wasn’t happening.”

  


Nicole squeezed tighter. “Me too, Earp. Me too.”

  


  


  


* * *

  


  


  


The hospital room was lit with blindingly white lights. Waverly wasn't sure if this was better or worse than the ominous yellow of the ones in her mom's room all those years ago. It definitely gave her a headache though.

  


Her treatment was already taking everything out of her. The added respiratory infection and constant headache was almost too much to bear. She could hardly stay awake, but whenever she was, the lights were an additional agony.

  


Eventually Waverly found herself waking up only when she was being poked and prodded, receiving treatment, or being told it was time to eat; and then occasionally, she would awaken late into the night.

  


She missed Nicole, her sister, her niece, and her friends. She missed her research. She missed her life.

  


Waverly longed for the week to pass in haste so she could see them. As much as she appreciated the team of doctors and nurses who took care of her with graceful enthusiasm, she was starved of the touch from her loved ones. Plus, she was getting really bored of reading the same book. Looking back, she wished she'd had the sense to bring more than _Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance_.

  


Nicole was supposed to switch out her books whenever she needed a new one, but her infection had placed her in a near contactless bubble in fear of her immune system completely taking a dive from the chemo.

  


Waverly wasn't sure why she woke up feeling invigorated to hunt down a new book at almost midnight, but she didn't think twice before gathering up the tubes flowing in and out of her body and hooking them to the IV pole. With her feet hovering just above the ground she removed the oxygen mask from her face and stepped down onto the freezing tile. She truly hated how cold hospitals always were, even more so now that she was taking up semi-permanent residence in one.

  


She was careful to be quiet as she stepped into the hallway. Waverly didn't want to wake up anyone who might be sleeping on her floor. She also did not want to get scolded by a nurse for being out of bed.

  


The youngest Earp was sure she saw a book trade box on the floor below next to a waiting room when she was taken to x-ray last. Now she just needed to find it again.

  


There was something somewhat anxiety-inducing about the potential sound of the elevator, despite Waverly being sure that staff used it throughout the night. It felt like using the microwave at 3am, but with no way to hit stop and prevent the loud beep from sounding at the end. Waverly just opted to take the stairs instead.

  


She moved quietly down the hall and opened the door to the stairwell with great care. After slipping inside with what seemed like expert stealth, Waverly jumped out of her skin at the sound of a feminine voice from the corner.

  


"You look an awful lot like someone who is supposed to be in bed."

  


"Holy shit!" Waverly jumped back towards the wall, her eyes shooting to the floor next to her. "You scared the crap out of me," she exclaimed.

  


The woman laughed lightly and then stood from her position, resting a book on the ground. "Sorry about that," she smiled. "I'm Dr. Bustillos, but since it's midnight and we're meeting in the stairwell, you can call me Rosita."

  


Waverly was a bit taken back, partly from the scare and partly from the flirty vibe it seemed the doctor was giving off. Rosita was probably just being nice though. Waverly hoped that was all it was, or maybe hoped that she didn't secretly want it to be flirting. It was honestly hard to tell.

  


"Dr. Bustillos, what are you doing sitting in a stairwell this late?" Waverly feigned disinterest in getting to know the woman, despite feeling a pull to her.

  


"I could ask you the same thing." Rosita eyed Waverly's patient gown and wristband. Her gaze stayed on Waverlys wrist for a moment, noticing a charm bracelet that included a small golden snitch. "Wandering the corridors at this time of night without even a marauders map to guide you. Very risky."

  


That comment made Waverly finally drop her guarded stance and laugh. Rosita's smirk turned into a genuine smile as well.

  


"So are you a book nerd or a movie nerd," Waverly asked in a way that made Rosita feel there was a right and wrong answer.

  


"Definitely both, but I'm partial to books. You?"

  


"Definitely a book nerd. I was actually trying to find that book trade box I saw the other day. _Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance_ just isn't doing it for me anymore."

  


They both laughed lightly. There was an odd tension in the air. Both of them wanted to talk more but didn't know quite what to say.

  


"Oh!" Rosita broke the silence. "I think I have something you'll like." She knelt down and started ruffling through her messenger bag, quickly pulling out a book and handing it to Waverly.

  


" _The Power_ by Naomi Alderman?" Waverly chuckled. 

  


"Fuck, have you read it before?"

  


"No, no," Waverly said apologetically. "I'm sorry, its just, this is the first time someone has ever given me a book I haven't read before. Its just... Surprising."

  


Rosita looked hesitantly at Waverly's hands. Then she went ahead and reached for the book to flip it over. "You can read the summary yourself, but essentially its a fictional world where women gain this special power and become the dominant species. I just finished it last night and found it extremely interesting."

  


Shocking herself and Rosita, Waverly placed her hand over the other woman's. "I'm sure I'll love it."

  


They stood silently for a moment.

  


"I should walk you back to your room. You really aren't supposed to be walking around unattended this late. Even if you are a cute patient one whose name still eludes me." Rosita was back to her initial flirtatious smirk now.

  


"It's Waverly."

  


"Well, Waverly, it's a good thing you ran into me." Rosita's smirk grew suspiciously larger.

  


"Is it now?"

  


"Oh yeah. There's no way you would have been able to carry that IV pole down a flight of stairs, but luckily for you I'm a walking library."

  


Waverly stopped briefly as Rosita walked ahead.

  


"Lucky me," she smiled.

  


  



End file.
